Help me.

Hello everybody it's me BadMonkey,Daves asleep or passed out on the couch.So i don't know how much time i have,so i will get right to business,Please help me.I can't take it anymore.This fucker is crazy as shit.What do you meen you don't understand?Have you read some of the shit he writes.I can't take it anymore,I have to get away.I don't want to hurt him,but i will if pushed any further.I would have escaped already but i can't get his billfold out of his pants.Hey even a monkey needs some traveling money.So i tell you what,if you all could send me say 20 bucks each i think i could make it out of here without having to hurt him.Yea,YEA,that's it send me some money or i'm going to split this motherfuckers head open like a ripe melon.So hurry the fuck up,you got 24 hours to come up with the money or i'll off his ass. The clock is tickin'...........BadMonkey