Damn Dirty Apes

Hey there everybody,(all one of ya) It's me Bad Monkey.I was settin' here on my ass while Dave was away,(taken a shit or something) and i figured I'd give you a little 411 on what's been happening around here lately.From my point of view my life is pretty damn sweet right now.Here i am just chillin' with a cold Dr.Pepper and a York's peppermint patty to munch on.Yea i know what your thinking,i have lost my mind huh.Yea you think Dave's going to find out I'm all up in his Kool-Aid and beat hell out of me. Well you would be WRONG. That boy is all hung up on this chic he posted the pic of on here.Which makes my life sweet.He hasn't beat me since she has been around,so that makes her like my best buddy.I can get away with murder right now.Damn i hope she would marry this crazy motherfucker or something and i could rule the damn world.It would be like Plant of the Apes up in this biotch.........now get out my peppermint patty is melting.

Wordless Wed.---(Not on Wed.and not so Wordless)

That's my baby talking to me on the phone.Bad Monkey is so happy for me......and him.

Second Helpings

I just have to say this before I go off to bed,I was rereading some of my old post.Hell I went all the way back to the first one that I ever put on here.And it saddens me to know that more people don't or haven't read my writings. Cause I really have got to say I am one Funny Motherfucker...............(and I like to misspell the curse words when I type,So as to make the spellcheck say dirty words,I just love that part) You know,if more people thought the way I do there would be less bad people in the world.(Cause i would have killed them fuckers by now) And don't forget to yell TIMBER when you log out...........................

Thumb Feelings

Hey,Folks....WHHAAAAAATTTTTTSSSSSS..UUUUUUPPPPPPP. I been wanting to do that for a while.It cracks me the fuck up.OK,ok back to the reason for my putting fingers to keys.I have noticed something here lately that i just had to put in Al Gores Internet(FUCK AL GORE).I have been introduced to text messaging lately.I still don't care for it cause i suck at it.But,What I have found in my thumb fuckin' my phone is that people (women as far as I can tell)will text you shit that they would never say in person or over the phone. I'm not shittin' ya,they will say shit on a text that would make a motherfucking pervert blush. And in cryptic detail to boot.They may be all sweet little mothers or daughters on the phone or at work and all.But,let them start letting the thumbs do the talking and son of a bitch man I'm telling you there is going to be some graphic getting down to the nitty gritty pornographic sexin' going up on that little colored phone screen.I just could not believe it.That is why i had to tell you all about what i learned.Yea,Yea,Yea I hear you asking the question."Well Dave what is your opinion of this?" Well folks I can't lie.When this stuff first came across my phone, I was shocked,then my next thought (as the sweat beaded up on my forehead) was damn,i really want to do this nasty texting chic................So until next time.....(Come here Bad Monkey I'm going to have to spank the shit out of you).