Used Up

Well it has been a strange run for me here lately,I am so depressed that I don't sleep at night.I find myself walking around the house at 2 in the morning smoking cigarette's and wondering how my life went so wrong.I am what many people would call a successful person in my line of work.I have a small business that does about a million dollars a year gross that I and my partners started with nothing.We have worked when others have gone under in these troubled times.I'm not rich by any means,but I don't have to worry about much.I could have a nice life if I had someone that wanted me for me to have a nice life with.I thought I had found this person,but she is not ready for some reason to take on the commitment of being with someone who cares for her and her child.In my eyes and that of others I am the best thing to have ever happen to this person.But for my Love and troubles I have nothing to show but heartache and this empty void in my soul that she said she was there to fill.I have a list of broken promises and the loneliness of a man that at one time was looking forward to marriage plans and the hopes of a family with this women that all he wanted to do was to make her life so much better than it has ever been.I feel so lost in her confusion of what it is now that she says she wants.I am so in Love and so left behind,wondering threw the darkness with nothing to guide me.I was washed in a flood of her love and kindness only a 6 weeks ago.My life was on the way to the utopia that she painted for my with her words of love and the actions that brought these words to reality.This has all come to what is looking like an end that I never foresaw and never wanted and to this minute still don't want to ever end.I want her Love,her touch,her words,and the sound of her voice.I feel so alone now,more than I ever have in my entire life and I don't know what to do to fix any of it.I'm confused,lost,lonely,hurt,sad,and most of all still in Love...........I'm just USED up..